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Are These The 12 Worst Movies Of 2015?
The year is still new for Hollywood and there is a lot to look forward to in the coming 10 months. Blockbusters like “Star Wars VII” and “Jurassic World” have everyone excited. But for every worthy movie that hits cinemas, there are about three others that are agonizing to watch. This year looks like it will be no exception, with some of what surely will be the worst movies of 2015 — *cough* “Mortdecai” *cough* — already out. For the others, we’ll have to wait in terror.
The following 15 films have been assessed using industry news, film critics’ opinions, trailers and personal judgements. All titles are followed by their release date.
‘Mortdecai,’ 1/23/15, 13%
Oh, wow. Remember when Johnny Depp was cool and everything he touched didn’t turn into a box office flop or a dated fedora? Much was made of “Mordecai”s terrible marketing campaign, which in retrospect was probably intended to cover-up this total crap fest. AHuffington Post article hilariously compiled a few appalling reviews of Johnny Depp’s pet project that brings the eponymous aristocratic art dealer from the comic strip to big screen.David Edelstein probably said it best: “The badness settled over the audience like nuclear ash.” Between the terrible screenplay and Johnny Depp, nothing was good about this movie.
‘The Seventh Son,’ 2/6/15, 10%
Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore and Ben Barnes, an attractive British guy. Sounds like a great cast but “Seventh Son” started to look bad a very long time ago. The original release datewas February of 2013. The long delay did nothing to boost the adapation of Joseph Delany’s fantasy book “The Spook’s Apprentice.” CGI, an underveloped plot and unexpected bad acting sunk the “Seventh Son.” As Peter Debruge of Variety wrote, ““Seventh Son” amounts to nothing short of a creative miscarriage.”
‘Jupiter Ascending,’ 2/6/15, 22%
It’s thrilling that Hollywood sunk $200 million into a movie that was not an adaptation, a sequel or a reboot. Unfortunately, “Jupiter Ascending” just did not work. It’s a particular shame given that the creators of “The Matrix,” the Washowksi siblings, developed this film. While their last few movies have not come anywhere close to the classic hit, there’s always hope – especially when you have Mila Kunis, Eddie Redmayne, Channing Tatum and Sean Bean.
But it seems the problem was out of the actors’ control, “[Y]ou’ve got to point the finger at the Wachowskis,” Anthony D’Alessandro wrote on Deadline. Ryan Britt expanded on the Washowksi’s problematic story on Tor.com: “You could start watching Jupiter Ascending at literally any moment and feel like you were watching another movie. If it were re-titled Space Movie: The Movie, it would seem more original…”
’50 Shades Of Grey,’ 2/13/15, 29%
The results are in and it appears that this much hyped adaptation failed to meet the pent up expectations of many women. The main problem with “50 Shades” was Mr. Grey and thelackluster love scenes between him and Ana. While critics appreciated the removal of E.L. James’s tackier moments, the movie was left in a no man’s land. Neither a work of fun camp or a sincerely sexy watch, the movie ended up pretty boring.
Anthony Lane of The New Yorker wrote, “[T]o judge by the importance that he attaches to grooming, regular feeding, and nicely buffed leather goods, my suspicion is that he doesn’t want a girlfriend at all. I know Mr. Grey’s whopping-big secret. He wants a pony.”
‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2,’ 4/17/15
The release of “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” is also the same day the movies die. For unknown reasons, the original movie has a 33% Rotten Tomato score yet still grossed over 7 times its $26 million budget. While the comedy changes up its “Die Hard” angle to more “Ocean’s 11,” the segway jokes remain. Cinema Blend described the first film – which the sequel will most likely be exactly like – as “[t]asteless and slow and tonally uneven and all the other bad adjectives there are.”
Another rave review stated that the first movie “does something unexpected: it becomes watchable, perhaps even passably enjoyable.” Isn’t satire supposed to be funny and clever the entire way through?
‘Terminator: Genisys,’ 7/1/15
If you watched the trailer when it came out, you are probably still confused and far from alone. The main takeaway is that Sarah Connor, played by Emilia Clarke, was actually raised by the Terminator himself. This basically throws all the other stories out the window, but also not, because confusion.
As Screen Crush concluded after a long dissecting of the trailer, “In the end, this movie probably isn’t meant to make sense. It’s Hollywood logic.” This reboot looks to be another cash cow that the studio expects will pay off given that the Terminator is already slated to be back in 2017 and 2018.
‘The Fantastic Four,’ 8/7/15
Apologies to the people still holding out hope that this will be a good reboot, but all signs are pointing to no. At first, “The Fantastic Four” sounded great given that it stars a who’s who cast of Young Hollywood and its young director has been tapped to direct a “Star Wars” spin-off. Then rumors happened.
Director Josh Trank may have been an utter wreck on set and the lack of a trailer had fans worried. Then the trailer came out and as Pixable’s Sophy Ziss discussed, it looks terrible. Hopefully Michael B. Jordan, Miles Teller, Kate Mara and Jamie Bell can combine their respective awesomeness and save this thing.
‘Jane Got A Gun,’ 9/4/15
Sometimes a troubled production doesn’t mean a terrible movie. But sometimes, particularly when actors keep leaving the project and the movie’s release date keeps getting pushed back, it does. The casting issues of “Jane Got A Gun” are so confusing it reads like a poorly written SAT logic question.
Natalie Portman was always attached to the project, which came on the scene in 2012 and had an initial release date in 2014. Shortly after Michael Fassbender left for scheduling issues and was replaced by Jude Law, director Lynne Ramsey left over internal conflict. But then Jude Law left in support of Ramsey so Bradley Cooper joined. Then he left to finish another movie, and Ewan McGregor became the last man standing. Joel Edgerton was also in there all along, eventually switching roles to better suit the new cast. All the jostling made buyers anxious about the western movie, for which there is still no trailer.
‘Kitchen Sink,’ 9/4/15
(Source: Instagram/vanessahudgens)
There’s not a lot to go on for this teen horror film. The extremely uninteresting IMDb synopsisreads: “Vampires, humans and zombies used to get along in Dillford, but then something unexpected arrived and now it’s humans vs. vampires vs. zombies in all-out mortal combat. It’s up to three teenagers to try to get things back to ‘normal.’” The real reason it’s on this list, aside from the played out plot, is that is stars Vanessa Hudgens.
‘The Intern,’ 9/25/15
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Oh, what this movie may have been if Tina Fey, or even Reese Witherspoon, hadn’t left the project. Now it stars Anne Hathaway — who may or may not still be the subject of wide dislike — as a fashion ecommerce businesswoman forced to bring on Robert De Niro as an intern. It sounds a bit like a “Freaky Friday”-ed “The Devil Wears Prada,” except with Hathaway as the snarky boss it might not be as much fun. Even though Nancy Meyers wrote and directed, the movie sounds a bit too cutesy and predictable.
‘The Good Dinosaur,’ 11/25/15
(Source: Twitter/DisneyPixar)
Initially expected to be Pixar’s 2014 release, “The Good Dinosaur” is instead coming out this year after a few setbacks, the least of which is a change of director, a somewhat common practice for Pixar. LATimes reported layoffs at Pixar as a result of the “The Good Dinosaur” delay. Most worrisome for viewers of this movie, in which dinosaurs don’t go extinct, is the complete overhaul of the film. John Lightow, who voices the father dino, told Collider, “I recorded the entire role in Good Dinosaur. They have now dismantled it and completely reimagined it…” He also said “It is a fantastic new story .. [d]on’t worry,” but we’re worried. Pixar’s streak has to end sometime.
‘Point Break,’ 12/25/15
(Source: Twitter/RealD3DUK)
Hopefully you’re thinking, “There’s a remake of “Point Break”? Why?” Kevin Polowy at Yahoo Movies listed a few reasons why Warner Brothers should not be remaking the Keanu Reeves-Patrick Swayze film, the most important being that “’Break’ is a piece of beloved pure-’90s camp.” It was specific to its time, place and actors. Now people you’ve never heard of – Edgar Ramirez and Luke Bracey — will try to fill the roles of Bodhi and Johnny Utah. Ideally this remake, which is so clearly unnecessary, will not turn into utter crap. At least it will be overshadowed by the 12/18/15 release of “Star Wars.”
